3.13.2006

Ummm...It's not a medical condition

As I sit here writing this (worried about how this will sound and wondering how I caught this blogging bug, anyway), my daughter is unknowingly admiring herself. At 9 months she thinks the full-length mirror that her daddy mounted sideways at baby height is the pinnacle of entertainment. She looks down at her hands and then shows them to the baby in the mirror. She crawls toward her reflected face with a determined look and promptly licks a 'Hello'. I could watch this for hours and oh, I have. I find her as entetaining, fascinating and worthwhile as she does that mirror baby any day. And that, SHE, is enough for me. Literally, I mean. She's our whole enchilada. Numero Uno, Bebe...Solamente Bebe.

Yep, it's the dreaded Only Child Syndrome and to make matters worse in the eyes of a surprising number of people, it's self inflicted. The Mamacita's conception was quite shockingly simple and my pregnancy, minus that extra 40 lbs, a breeze so there's no dread associated with this decision not to have another child. It's simply HOW. WE. WANT. IT. It's nothing new to us - we made the decision to be a one baby family long before we were ready to have that baby. What is surprising though are the reactions from friends, associates, acquaintances, on & on, when they learn the Mamacita is destined to grow up a friendless, bullying, spoiled (gasp!) Only Child.

'You can't have just one,' they say. I beg to differ.

'You should give her a sibling.' I'd like to see you make me - I can throw down, people!

'Only Children have adjustment problems.' Uh, I'm an only child.

That last is greeted by a certain look. It could be one of surprise though often I suspect the wearer is having an 'Aha!' moment, thinking, 'That explains SO MUCH.' But hey, I really do believe I'm fairly well adjusted given the company. I don't go around hording things, mentally labeling it MY STUFF, nor do I verbally accost people at random, telling them how to live their lives. For instance with worldy gems like, You really shouldn't have more than one child, ya know.

Sure there are challenges for only children, just like there are for kids with siblings be there 1 or 20. I can honestly say from EXPERIENCE that there are a lot of perks too. There's the one-on-one time with parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles and the like. Only kids get carte blanche when it's their turn to pick the movie, bedtime book, dinner menu, etc. Plus - No Hand-Me-Downs. Ok, maybe there are still hand-me-downs but they come from cool older kids who do not fall into the dorky/annoying/terrorizing sibling category.

I'm no holier-than-thou eco-breeder hell bent on convincing the world that singular procreation is the only way to go. This decision had nothing to do with anything like that. It's about contentment and freedom and confidence that this is the best choice for our family. Speaking of which, that's what it's about ultimately. CHOICE.

2 Comments:

Anonymous lawboy said...

A very smart, funny, hottie!

March 15, 2006 6:52 PM  
Blogger lizard mama said...

Oh man...you said it! I found your blog from a friend's blog and I was like "Manitou Springs? That's like the coolest town on earth with one of my favorite restaurant's in Adam's Mountain Cafe..."

I digress...can I borrow your statement of "It's about contentment and freedom and confidence that this is the best choice for our family."??? You hit the nail on the head for my hubby and I with that...

March 30, 2006 7:04 PM  

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