Explaining the Lethargy, a Haiku

tears for mooing dog

hungry all the damn day long

hooray PMS


Too Much 'People', People

Apparently I've been reading too many trashy tabloids.

Today I bought a new pair of sunglasses because the Mamacita had 'misplaced' yet another pair. The one pair I could locate had been stretched and chewed to such a state that the arms extend outward at an approximately 120 degree angle. Maybe Dumbo could keep them on his head.

Not wanting to spend too much on the Mamacita's newest Stretch Armstrong substitute I went to my favorite discount store and, after trying on a few p
airs, found the ones. Normally, I have a pretty strong aesthetic and while I'm not saying it's the chicest of the chic or the coolest of the cool, it is me.

At home, I presented each of my purchases to Geoff for his admiration.

New wallet. Love it.
New skirt. Cool.
New sunglasses....Uh, helloooo...new sunglasses....
Ewww - I hate those! They're so gay. (And no, he did not at all mean homosexual. And yes, he totally sounded like a 16-year-old Valley Girl while saying this.)

He then proceeded to show me this and this and this. Holy insipid celebrity styles! Looks like duct tape and Dumbo glasses for me.


Why I Majored in English Lit

Delinquent again.

I blame the Colorado Real Estate Commission. They've stolen my sense of humor and replaced it with mind numbing facts.

For instance, I can now prorate for taxes paid in
arrears like an accountant on Coke (beverage or otherwise). I can identify the negotiable terms of a Contract to Buy and Sell Real Estate from sixty paces. I am also able, without hesitation, to define for you a property lien and suggest to you many ways by which you can clear those dirty buggers and render your Title squeaky clean and cloudless.

Cloudless. I'll give you cloudless. Cloudless is the sunny-damn-skies waiting on the other side of next Thursday when I swap my financial calcul
ator for a radio flyer and a certain blue-eyed co-pilot.

That's cloudless Mama mind.